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re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Adam and Eve had just made love, Eve said to Adam Iam just going to wash myself in the stream, dont do that said Adam, youl make the fish smell of fannys.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

As I sat naked on the edge of the bed sobbing, my wife consoled me.

"Hey, chin up, I'm sure it happens to lots of guys" she sympathised "Is there anyone we can call?",

"No!" I wailed, "They'll say the usual 'try again later' or 'try something different', I'm a failure",

"Hey" she whispered, "You never fail me, I love you no matter what. We'll get there in the end"

"Promise?" I sniffed,

"I promise." She smiled and stood up; "Now, come on, forget the Guinness book of Records, let's get those 27 smarties out from under your foreskin".
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

As I sat naked on the edge of the bed sobbing, my wife consoled me.

"Hey, chin up, I'm sure it happens to lots of guys" she sympathised "Is there anyone we can call?",

"No!" I wailed, "They'll say the usual 'try again later' or 'try something different', I'm a failure",

"Hey" she whispered, "You never fail me, I love you no matter what. We'll get there in the end"

"Promise?" I sniffed,

"I promise." She smiled and stood up; "Now, come on, forget the Guinness book of Records, let's get those 27 smarties out from under your foreskin".

I dunno why, but I just spat a mouthful of beer over the dog after reading that!..
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I dunno why, but I just spat a mouthful of beer over the dog after reading that!..

I was drifting off last night and my brother text it me, i was nearly crying!
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

12.

One to screw it in,
one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination,
one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination,
one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like",
one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic,
one to blame men for not changing the bulb,
one to blame men for trying to cha [...]

Reveal the rest of this joke

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

12.

One to screw it in,
one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination,
one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination,
one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like",
one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic,
one to blame men for not changing the bulb,
one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it,
one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs,
one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs,
one to advocate that lightbulb changers should have wage parity with electricians,
one to alert the media that women are now "out-lightbulbing" men,
and one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

My Polish wife is struggling to come to terms with the English language. The other night she said to me "Me be going out with friends tonight"





Smiling, I had to correct her





"No you're ****ing not!!"
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I got stopped by a policeman at 2 o clock this morning and he asked me "Where are you going at this time of night"

I said "I'm just on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and it's effects on the human body and the damage it can do to personal relationships"


He said "Really who gives lectures like that at this time of night?"

I said "The ****ing wife!"
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[h=3]Read Aloud For Best Effect!!![/h]The European Union commissioners have
announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred
language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other
possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year
phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In
the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil
servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced
with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one
less letter.

There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of
the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.


By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan
be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find
it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

thought i was going dizlektik!
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I met a beautiful woman by the lake the other day. there was a spark between us and she fell at my feet. As we lay together makeing love i thought to my self these ****ing tazers are well worth the money!!!
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

"And what will the lovely lady be having?" asked the waiter whilst my wife was in the toilet. "I dont know"I replied, "probably a dump!!!"
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Being the kind gentleman I am, I'll always open a door for a woman. Although, my gesture is never taken on a polite note and I still have to struggle as I throw them into the back of my van.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Three friends married women from different parts of the world...!!!


The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.

It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.


The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn?t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better.

By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.


The third man married a girl from Glasgow . He ordered her to keep
the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn?t see

anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.




He still has some difficulty when he pees. :nono:
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

There's yer problem luv!! clogged sink.jpg
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I've done my chores for the day...just filled the dishwasher.
Or 'made love', as she calls it.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I bumped into an old friend who asked how I was keeping since the last time he seen me.
"Well, the debts are still piling up if I'm honest Terry" I replied
He said "You know what's responsible, don't you?" "Alcohol and gambling!"
Thanks for being so understanding mate, you're the first person to say it wasn't my fault" I replied
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

My new girlfriend said I have to wait 6 months before she'll go down on me. I told her I totally understand and respect her decision and I'll give her a call then.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

scientists have found that many women develop "hoover disease" after yrs of marriage they begin to make a continuous whining noise but dont suck anymore
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

David Attenborough is walking through the jungle when he comes to a clearing. In the middle of the clearing is a dead elephant with a Pygmy stood on top of it.
So David goes over to the Pygmy and asks "did you kill the elephant" the Pygmy says "yes", so David asks "how did you kill it?", the Pygmy replies "I beat it to death with my club" David surprised says "that must be a big club", "Well there's about 150 of us" replied the Pygmy.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[h=2]Google Maps[/h]
1-Open Google Maps(driving directions
2-Type China as your starting point
3-Type Taiwan as your destination
4-Read step 48


smile.png
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[h=2]I found it ....... I finally found it ...‏[/h]
I found it...
And you thought there was no
such place, huh????
.
.
.
.
attachment.php




.
.You should all be so pleased to receive this........
How many times have we been up there without one!​
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Lol, Good one Bod
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I like the bottom pic DKIA.
I came in last night to her sheepishly telling me she had scraped the car on the fence when reversing in the drive.

Of course it was my fault for leaving a bit wood sticking an inch out in a 10ft opening lol
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

My wife left me for a Hindu man.

At least he'll treat her better - they worship cows.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I asked my wife what she would like for an anniversary gift.
She said, "Something gold, I like gold."
I asked, "Yes, but what?"
She said, "I honestly don't mind, just something gold."
She had very little grounds for any argument as I handed her a fish.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

The wife's just told me her mother's seriously ill and may not even make it through the night, so I'm off to the hospital now.

Think I broke some fingers crossing them too hard.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

It has been very difficult for me to plan my wife's funeral.
She keeps on walking in on me.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Just like Margaret Thatcher, I refer to my wife as "The Iron Lady"

She is also known as "The Cook Lady", "The Cleaning Lady", "The Wash Lady"...
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Me and my wife hit a tight spot with money and were searching for stuff to sell. She picked up my hair clippers and said "You don't really need these anymore, it's been a while since you shaved your head"

"Good idea!" I said "Can I use them one last time though?"

"Of course" she replied

zhhhhzhhhhh zhhhh zhhhhzzhzhh

"...now we can sell your straighteners too"
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

The wife bought some crotchless knickers.

"What do you think?" she winked, bending over.

"Nice" I replied. "It reminds me of the time I opened a bin bag round the back of the abbatoir."
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

My wife ran in earlier screaming that she had been raped.

"I'm going out to look for him now," I said. "What colour was his Labrador" ?
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

A beautiful woman was walking down the street when a man approached her.
The man said, "You are perfection, I must have you right now! I’ll drop £500 at your feet and during the time it takes for you to pick it up, I can have had my way with you roughly from behind!"

The woman thinks it over and asks to the man to wait a minute. She calls her friend and asks her opinion. Her friend says, "The man’s an idiot, take it because when he drops the £500 on the gorund, I’m sure you can pick it up and run off before he can even get his tackle out."

Two hours later the lady still hadn’t phoned her friend back, so the friend phones her instead.

"Well? What happened?" she asks.

"The git had it in 50p’s!!"​
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

My son fell asleep during a house party last weekend so I decided to show the little ****e who's boss. I shaved his eyebrows off and drew a knob on his face. Our lass went bananas when she looked in his cot!
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Q. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

A. We better get some support or people will think we're nuts.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Welcome to the Dragons' Den, where we welcome new Dragon, Hilary Devey, who made her millions in the haulage industry.

Hauling around her massive testicles.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

As my mouth slowly started to fill up with another man's *** I made a mental note to myself...




Never go down on a girl from Glasgow again.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

A married couple are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the wife gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car.
She says, "Look, it's shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?"
Her husband replies, "Put it between your legs to keep it warm."
She asks, "What about the smell?"
He says, "Hold its nose."
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

My wife said, "Why is the laptop all sticky?"

I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream."

She said, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"

I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream whilst masturbating?"
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

dear dedrie ,

i was stood at my bedroom window last night when i become aroused by my next door neighbour bating topless , i was so turned on i did decided to ********** , just as i was ready i turned round and noticed my wife stood in the door way watching me.

do you think shes a pervert ?
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

WAS IT A CAR OR A CAT I SAW.. 'WASITACARORACATISAW'.. This is the only English sentence which even if we read in reverse, it'll give the same
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

WAS IT A CAR OR A CAT I SAW.. 'WASITACARORACATISAW'.. This is the only English sentence which even if we read in reverse, it'll give the same

you mean the only one apart from all the others :smilewinkgrin:

Sore was I ere I saw Eros.
A man, a plan, a canal -- Panama
Never a foot too far, even.
Euston saw I was not Sue.
Live on evasions? No, I save no evil.
Red Roses run no risk, sir, on nurses order.
Salisbury moor, sir, is roomy. Rub Silas.
Marge, let's "went." I await news telegram.
A new order began, a more Roman age bred Rowena.
I, man, am regal; a German am I.
Tracy, no panic in a pony-cart.
Egad! Loretta has Adams as mad as a hatter. Old age!
Eve, mad Adam, Eve!
Resume so pacific a pose, muser.
Marge let a moody baby doom a telegram.
Tenet C is a basis, a basic tenet.
Nella's simple hymn: "I attain my help, Miss Allen."
Straw? No, too stupid a fad. I put soot on warts.
Sir, I demand, I am a maid named Iris.
Lay a wallaby baby ball away, Al.
Tessa's in Italy, Latin is asset.
Noel sees Leon.
No, it can assess an action.
Bob: "Did Anna peep?" Anna: "Did Bob?"
Sex at noon taxes.
Egad, a base life defiles a bad age.
"Stop!" nine myriad murmur. "Put up rum, rum, dairymen, in pots."
Delia, here we nine were hailed.
Not I, no hotel, cycle to Honiton.
Anne, I vote more cars race Rome-to-Vienna.
Mother Eve's noose we soon sever, eh, Tom?
"Sue," Tom smiles, "Selim smote us."
Telegram, Margelet!
Too hot to hoot.
Unglad, I tar a tidal gnu.
Eve damned Eden, mad Eve.
Snug Satraps eye Sparta's guns.
Nurse, save rare vases, run!
Draw, O Caesar, erase a coward.
No mists or frost, Simon.
Sail on, game vassal! Lacy callas save magnolias!
Trap a rat! Stare, piper, at Star apart.
Sue, dice, do, to decide us.
La, Mr. O'Neill, lie normal.
Top step -- Sara's pet spot.
Eel-fodder, stack-cats red do flee.
Reg, no lone car won, now race no longer.
Zeus was deified, saw Suez.
Evil is a name of a foeman, as I live.
No waste, grab a bar, get saw on.
"Degenerate Moslem, a cad!" Eva saved a camel so Meta reneged.
Was it felt? I had a hit left, I saw.
Won't I repaper? Repaper it now.
Too far, Edna, wander afoot.
Stella won no wallets.
"Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod.
Nurse, I spy gypsies, run!
Draw pupil's pup's lip upward.
Lewd did I live, and, Edna, evil I did dwel.
"Sirrah! Deliver deified desserts detartrated!" stressed deified, reviled Harris.
All erotic, I lose my lyme solicitor, Ella.
No, is Ivy's order a red rosy vision?
No word, no bond, row on.
On tub, Edward imitated a cadet; a timid raw debut, no?
Tense, I snap Sharon roses, or Norah's pansies net.
"Deliver desserts," demanded Nemesis, "emended, named, stressed, reviled."
No, it is opposed; Art sees Trade's opposition.
"Knight, I ask nary rank," saith gink.
Moors dine, nip -- in Enid's room.
"Ma," Jerome raps pot top, "spare more jam!"
Live not on evil deed, live not on evil.
Sir, I'm Iris!
Now do I repay a period won.
A rod, not a bar, a baton, Dora.
Now saw ye no mosses or foam, or aroma of roses. So money was won.
Amiced was I ere I saw Decima.
"Pooh," smiles Eva, "have Selim's hoop."
No, set a maple here, help a mate, son.
A war at Tarawa!
Some men interpret nine memos.
Delia sailed as sad Elias ailed.
Ned, I am a maiden.
Dennis sinned.
Remit Rome cargo to go to Grace Mortimer.
Did Dean aid Diana? Ed did.
I told Edna how to get a mate: "Go two-handed." Loti.
Sire, was I ere I saw Eris?
Now Eve, we're here, we've won.
"Suit no regrets." A motto, Master Gerontius.
Eve, man, am Eve!
Slap-dab set-up, Mistress Ann asserts, imputes bad pals.
Tuna nut.
Saladin enrobes a baroness, Senora, base-born Enid, alas.
Deny me not; atone, my Ned.
Roy Ames, I was a wise mayor.
Wonders in Italy, Latin is "Red" now.
'Tis Ivan on a visit.
Did Ione take Kate? No, I did.
Solo gigolos.
No, it is open on one position.
He Goddam Mad Dog, Eh?
Ned, go gag Ogden.
Draw no dray a yard onward.
"Revolt, love!" raved Eva. "Revolt, lover!"
Enid and Edna dine.
Anne, I stay a day at Sienna.
Senile felines.
Max, I stay away at six A.M.
Ere hypocrisies or poses are in, my hymn I erase. So prose I, sir, copy here.
St. Simon sees no mists.
Draw, O coward!
Top step's pup's pet spot.
Noel, did I not rub Burton? I did, Leon.
Puss, a legacy! Rat in a snug, unsanitary cage, lass, up!
Rise to vote, Sir.
Noel saw I was Leon.
Now, sir, a war is won!
Ha! Robed Selim smiles, Deborah!
Degas, are we not drawn onward, we freer few, drawn onward to new eras aged?
Now ere we nine were held idle here, we nine were won.
Yo! Bottoms up, U.S. Motto, boy!
Nor I nor Emma had level'd a hammer on iron.
Al lets Della call Ed, Stella.
No Dot nor Ottawa, "legal age" law at Toronto, Don.
Yes, Mark, cable to hotel, "Back Ramsey."
Was it a bar or a bat I saw?
Marge lets Norah see Sharon's telegram.
Analytic Paget saw an inn in a waste-gap city, Lana.
Was raw tap ale not a reviver at one lap at Warsaw?
Live on, Time; emit no evil.
"Not for Cecil?" asks Alice Crofton.
Ban campus motto, "Bottoms up, MacNab."
So may Apollo pay Amos.
Norma is as selfless as I am, Ron.
Arden saw I was Nedra.
Won't lovers revolt now?
Do not start at rats to nod.
Ha! On, on, o Noah!
Norah's foes order red rose of Sharon.
I made border bard's drowsy swords; drab, red-robed am I.
Emil, asleep, Hannah peels a lime.
Set a broom on no moor, Bates.
Ten dip a rapid net.
O render gnostic illicit song, red Nero.
Are we not drawn onwards, we Jews, drawn onward to new era?
Mother at song no star, eh Tom?
I maim nine men in Saginaw; wan, I gas nine men in Miami.
So may get Arts award. Draw a strategy, Amos.
Nella, demand a lad named Allen.
Yes, Syd, Owen saved Eva's new Odyssey.
"Now dine," said I as Enid won.
Lepers repel.
May a moody baby doom a yam?
Draw -- aye, no melody -- dole-money award.
Mirth, sir, a gay asset? No, don't essay a garish trim.
See few owe fees.
Stressed was I ere I saw desserts.
Name I -- Major-General Clare -- negro Jamie Man.
Tennis set won now Tess in net.
Ewer of miry rim for ewe.
Sh! Tom sees moths.
No misses ordered roses, Simon.
"Stop, Syrian, I start at rats in airy spots"
I, Marian, I too fall; a foot-in-air am I.
Evade me, Dave.
Delia's debonair dahlias, poor, drop, or droop. Sail, Hadrian; Obed sailed.
No ham came, sir, now siege is won. Rise, MacMahon.
Now Ned, I am a maiden nun; Ned, I am a maiden won.
Ten animals I slam in a net.
Did I draw Della too tall, Edward? I did?
Go hang a salami in a ladagna hog.
Di, did I as I said I did?
Milestones? Oh, 'twas I saw those, not Selim.
No, it's a bar of gold, a bad log for a bastion.
"Naomi, sex at noon taxes", I moan.
Snug & raw was I ere I saw war & guns.
Doc, note, I dissent. A fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod.
Live was I ere I saw evil.
Red now on level -- no wonder.
Stop! Murder us not tonsured rumpots!
Step on hose-pipes? Oh no, pets.
Stiff, o dairyman, in a myriad of fits.
To nets, ah, no, son, haste not.
Dennis, no misfit can act if Simon sinned.
Revered now I live on. O did I do no evil, I wonder ever?
Sore was I ere I saw Eros.
Noel, lets egg Estelle on.
In a regal age ran I.
"Novrad," sides reversed, is "Darvon."
Name now one man.
Dennis and Edna sinned.
Nora, alert, saws goldenrod-adorned logs, wastrel Aaron!
Sums are not set as a test on Erasmus.
Deliver, Eva, him I have reviled.
Damosel, a poem? A carol? Or a cameo pale? (So mad!)
Doom an evil deed, liven a mood.
God, a red nugget! A fat egg under a dog!
Nurse's onset abates, noses run.
Roy, am I mayor?
Ron, Eton mistress asserts I'm no tenor.
I tip away a wapiti.
Adelberta was I ere I saw a trebled "A".
Sit on a potato pan, Otis.
Moorgate got nine men in to get a groom.
Repel evil as a live leper.
Eva, can I stab bats in a cave?
Did Hannah say as Hannah did?
Goddesses so pay a possessed dog.
Eva, Lave!
Ah, Satan sees Natasha.
Do Good's deeds live on? No, Evil's deeds do, O God.
Madame, not one man is selfless; I name not one Madam.
Dora tended net, a rod.
Golf, No, sir, prefer prison flog.
Nella risks all: "I will ask Sir Allen."
Now do I report "Sea Moth" to Maestro, period? Won.
Selim's tired, no wonder, it's miles.
"So I darn on," a Canon radios.
War-distended nets I draw.
Stephen, my hat! Ah, what a hymn, eh, pets?
Mad Zeus, no live devil, lived evil on Suez dam.
Bog dirt up a sidetrack carted is a putrid gob.
Mad? Am I, madam?
Madam, in Eden I'm Adam!
Ward nurses run "draw."
Live dirt up a sidetrack carted is a putrid evil.
Oh who was it I saw, oh who?
"Reviled did I live," said I, "as evil I did deliver."
Live was I ere I saw Evil.
Pull up, Eva, we're here, wave, pull up.
Revolt on Yale, Democrats edit "Noon-Tide Star." Come, delay not lover.
Won race, so loth to lose car now.
No, it never propagates if I set a "gap" or prevention.
Delia sailed, Eva waved, Elias ailed.
I maim nine more hero-men in Miami.
Rise, morning is red, no wonder-sign in Rome, Sir.
Emil asleep, Allen yodelled "Oy." Nella peels a lime.
No. I save on final perusal, a sure plan if no evasion.
Yreka Bakery.
He lived as a devil, eh?
I saw thee, madame, eh? 'Twas I.
Dior Droid.
Regard a mere mad rager.
I saw desserts; I'd no lemons, alas no melon. Distressed was I.
A dog! A panic in a pagoda!
Yawn a more Roman way.
Semite, be sure! Damn a man-made ruse betimes.
Pull up if I pull up.
Able was I ere I saw Elba.
Eve saw diamond, erred, no maid was Eve.
"Slang is not suet, is it?" Euston signals.
I roamed under it as a tired, nude Maori.
Pa's a sap.
No, miss, it is Simon.
Step on no pets!
Niagara, O roar again!
Lewd did I live; evil I did dwel.
Too bad, I hid a boot.
"Rats gnash teeth," sang Star.
Lapp, Mac? No, sir, prison-camp pal.
Tide-net safe, soon, Allin. A manilla noose fastened it.
I moan, Naomi.
Too far away, no mere clay or royal ceremony, a war afoot.
Rats live on no evil star.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

and lets not forget

Deer frisk, sir, freed.
I did roar again, Niagara! ... or did I?
No evil Shahs live on.
O gnats, tango!
Stop, Syrian, I start at rats in airy spots.
"Not New York," Roy went on.
"Norah's moods," Naomi moans, "doom Sharon."
Eva, can I pose as Aesop in a cave?
Trade ye no mere moneyed art.
Was it a rat I saw?
Help Max, Enid -- in example, "H."
So may Obadiah, even in Nineveh, aid a boy, Amos.
See, slave, I demonstrate yet arts no medieval sees.
Egad, a base tone denotes a bad age.
Lew, Otto has a hot towel.
"Warden in a Cap," Mac's pup scamp, a canine draw.
Paget saw an inn in a waste gap.
A **** nixes sex in Tulsa.
Must sell at tallest sum.
Naomi, did I moan?
Drab Red, no londer bard.
Revenge my baby, meg? Never!
Stop, Syrian, I see bees in airy spots.
Did I do, O God, did I as I said I'd do? Good, I did!
Pusillanimity obsesses Boy Tim in "All Is Up."
Refasten Gipsy's pig-net safer.
Pat and Edna tap.
Adam, I'm Ada!
Ma is as selfless as I am.
Poor Dan is in a droop.
Leon sees Noel.
So may Obadiah aid a boy, Amos.
Sis, Sargasso moss a grass is.
Now, Ned, I am a maiden won.
I moan, "Live on, O evil Naomi!"
Delia and Edna ailed.
So remain a mere man. I am Eros.
No lemons, no melon.
Never odd or even.
Rise, sir lapdog! Revolt, lover! God, pal, rise, sir!
Ah, Aristides opposed it, sir, aha!
Ma is a nun, as I am.
Madam, I'm Adam.
Star? Come, Donna Melba, I'm an amiable man -- no Democrats!
We'll let Dad tell Lew.
No, it is opposition.
No benison, no sin, Ebon.
Ladle histolytic city lots I held, Al.
Harass selfless Sarah!
Ten? No bass orchestra tarts, eh? Cross a bonnet!
Si, we'll let Dad tell Lewis.
In airy Sahara's level, Sarah, a Syrian, I.
Nor I, fool, ah no? We won halo -- of iron.
We seven, Eve, sew.
Peel's lager on red rum did murder no regal sleep.
"Go, droop aloof," sides reversed, is "fool a poor dog."
Sir, I soon saw Bob was no Osiris.
St. Eloi, venin saved a mad Eva's nine violets.
Here so long? No loser, eh?
Flee to me, remote elf.
Six at party, no pony-trap, taxis.
Drab as a fool, as aloof as a bard.
Red? Rum, eh? 'Twas I saw the murder.
Pull a bat! I held a ladle, hit a ball up.
No, Hal, I led Delilah on.
Nomists reign at Tangier, St. Simon.
Nemo, we revere women.
Harass sensuousness, Sarah.
Are we not, Rae, near to new era?
Red root put up to order.
"Sal is not in?" Ruth asks. "Ah, turn it on, Silas."
Retracting, I sign it, Carter.
A Toyota.
He won a Toyota now, eh?
Gate-man sees name, garage-man sees name-tag.
Live not on evil.
Nella won't set a test now, Allen.
Ha! I rush to my lion oily moths, Uriah!
Live dirt, up a side-track carted, is a putrid evil.
Dog, as a devil deified, lived as a god.
Not so, Boston.


can't think of any more.....:smilewinkgrin:
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

lol tooshay, i just copy and pasted though as i thought it was funny
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

and they say you couldnt bottle it.jpgbegone I say.jpgdoes marie know about this.jpgNot to be confused with hetero sausage.jpgso refreshing.jpgwack off.jpg Just bored and got sent some funny pics
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

@ces

lol, that bog roll is 100 percent recycled ( if you buy it you best hope that '****begone')

good laugh that mate
 
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