Nephew damaged his finger.

[lame plumber]

I nearly told the bacon slicer joke but then I saw where this thread was....

so move to the arms and tell the joke

 

[kozak1968]

I feel sick! it makes me cringe!

 

[Ray Stafford]

Thought you had a butler for all that?

Yes, in fairness, the butler should have shouted "OW!" when I burnt myself. Just goes to show, you can't get the staff these days....