Stupid jokes

[bright spark]

Paddy and Mick are working on a building site. Mick says I'm gonna pretend I've gone mad and get a day off. When d fireman goes by Mick swings from d rafters upside down shouting 'I'm a lightbulb'.
The foreman says 'a Jesus Micks gone mad. You better go home'
then Paddy starts packing up too. The foreman asks 'where ye going Paddy?'
Paddy says 'I may go home, I can't work in d dark'

 

[Rickster123]

Bright spark I always end up reading your posts in an Irish accent in my head!

 

[quality]

did you here about the one where paddy bought a snake ?

 

[bright spark]

Go on?

 

[bright spark]

Paddys on d site. A slate falls off a roof and cuts of his ear. A lad picks it up and says 'is this your ear paddy?
He replies 'no I had a pencil behind my one'

 

[quality]

Paddy, buys a snake and phones his mate mick, Mick Ive bought a snake
Mick, wow how big is it?
Paddy, its F)))ing massive
Mick, how many feet
Paddy, it ant got no feet its a snake di0chead

 

[Rickster123]

mick and paddy are reading headstones near a church. mick turns to paddy and says, " there's a bloke here who was 152!"

paddy asks, "What was his name?"

mick replies, "Miles from London."

 

[Rickster123]

paddy was waiting in the hospital with both feet bandaged up.

"What have you done now, paddy?" asked mick.

"Oh, it's that bloody Tesco's again," he said. "I bought a sponge pudding for my tea and it said 'pierce tin then stand in boiling water for 15 mins.'"

 

[kris]

Paddy walks into Travis Perkins up to the counter and says , " good day young sir I'd like to buy a bag of nails "
The staff member replies how long do u need them ?
Paddy replies that's a stupid question I want to keep them ,,,,,,,,,,

 

[joni os]

Welshman thanked God for giving him such a beautiful country and asked why he had been so richly rewarded. God said it was compensation for having to live next door to the English.