I want to start a cheese mining company where do i start?

[Keefy]

Hello guys Iam really interested in starting a cheese mining company. I have no experience at the moment dealing with cheese or any cheese mining experience as well for that matter. I have no idea where to start can anyone help me?

I've done my research and found that 90% of the moon is made of cheese and would like to know if I need any qualifications to fly a space shuttle there.

If you're not going to help then don't post in my tread.

​

 

[TomLane]

I know a man that knows a man, who knows another man, who knows this woman, that knows a man who might be able to get you some!

We're not talking just your average cheese here mind! Apparently it's high quality, face gurning, mind spinning, class A cheese! The sort of stuff that will turn you inside out, upside down, round & round & read you your last rights cheese!

Let me know, in fact, send me a deposit of all the blood & tears you can squeeze from an Algerian hamster & I'll get you a 'G' to get you going!

This is just for you though at the minute as they can't guarantee your safety!

It's good stuff though & what can go wrong?!?!?

 

[peteheat]

Must be a cheese mining forum somewhere??????????

Secret societies, even Google can't find them

 

[Keefy]

I know a man that knows a man, who knows another man, who knows this woman, that knows a man who might be able to get you some!

We're not talking just your average cheese here mind! Apparently it's high quality, face gurning, mind spinning, class A cheese! The sort of stuff that will turn you inside out, upside down, round & round & read you your last rights cheese!

Let me know, in fact, send me a deposit of all the blood & tears you can squeeze from an Algerian hamster & I'll get you a 'G' to get you going!

This is just for you though at the minute as they can't guarantee your safety!

It's good stuff though & what can go wrong?!?!?

Is there much demand for cheese where you live?

 

[Dotty]

Have you given any consideration to how you intend to grade your cheese?

 

[hammers4spanner]

I'm sure you will find a second hand rocket on ebay ,then all you need to do is find a jet propulsion expert tell them you have bought a lunar rocket off ebay and then inform him/her exactly how much you want to pay to build the rocket . You'll be off to the moon to indulge in cheese before you know it


doddle!!!

 

[Dotty]

I've been thinking of building a cracker empire. There isn't one at the moment in the town I come from.

Perhaps we can help each other

 

[Koogatubac]

Ur all crazy ! So so funny reading these posts esp tom about a man who knows a man who knows a man who knows a woman who knows a half man woman lol

 

[mountainman]

I think Wallace and Gromit have beaten you to it Keefy.

 

[Keefy]

Have you given any consideration to how you intend to grade your cheese?

Yes; smelly, really smelly, really really smelly and **** me that ****ing wreaks!

I'm sure you will find a second hand rocket on ebay ,then all you need to do is find a jet propulsion expert tell them you have bought a lunar rocket off ebay and then inform him/her exactly how much you want to pay to build the rocket . You'll be off to the moon to indulge in cheese before you know it


doddle!!!

I'm having trouble finding anything on ebay tbh.

I've been thinking of building a cracker empire. There isn't one at the moment in the town I come from.

Perhaps we can help each other

My mate had a crack empire once, he's now doing 24 years.

I think Wallace and Gromit have beaten you to it Keefy.

Never heard of them.

 

[rocketmanbkk]

Do you first need to be cheese safe to start this company, if you are not cheese safe I suggest completing a in-depth cheese safe course and then gain experience.

Good luck

 

[TomLane]

Is there much demand for cheese where you live?

Massive!

It's Cheltenham race week this week & they're all going squeaking crazy for it!!

Everyone's on it like white on rice, even like a tramp on chips!! They just can't get enough!!

 

[TomLane]

I think Wallace and Gromit have beaten you to it Keefy.

How do you know Wallace & Gromit? Are you from round this way?

I think you know too much! Who have you been speaking to? What have they told?

Hmmmmm, I think we've got the law on to us already Keefy!

 

[Keefy]

Cheese Safe? I'll just get a dairy farmer to sign my work off. And yeah, Tom, I think mountainman might be a spy.

 

[Mike Jackson]

I've been thinking of building a cracker empire. There isn't one at the moment in the town I come from.

Perhaps we can help each other

I think your best bet is to get yourself signed up for a fast crack course.