things a gas engineer / plumber would never say

[PlumbBobBob]

would you like to join me? i'm just testing the bath for leaks.

 

[Plumbstar Tom]

I believe you that you never touched that gate valve

 

[Plumbstar Tom]

Wow what a bargain that £20 tap that says made in China on it is!

 

[royston]

Yes mrs smith you can turn the water off for me under the sink, as i stand at the side of you and look down your top and check your bum out.

 

[CES]

whoops!, sorry, I really should check that your cat isn't under the floor when I nail it back down

 

[dontknowitall]

I like these petrol prices as it gives me an excuse to put my prices up.

 

[Mikey456]

Yes mrs smith you can turn the water off for me under the sink, as i stand at the side of you and look down your top and check your bum out.

We do this anyways!

 

[quality]

No problem I will swap your gas meter that you just bought of ebay and will give you a certificate aswell

 

[Dotty]

Yes I'm positive I have to wear your underwear on my head to protect against Dihydrogen Monoxide Miss Smith.

 

[Dotty]

We do this anyways!

thank Gawd, I thought it was just me!

 

[Mikey456]

thank Gawd, I thought it was just me!

We're only human, its allowed. Best one i ever had was going round the rooms to bleed the radiators youngish girl probably about 23ish had black leggings on and said "oh do you want me to bleed that one?, yeah go for it" because it was behind the bed jumped up on the bed with her arse facing me, seen straight through the leggings nearly collapsed as she was mega fit! hahah

 

[CES]

British gas service contract? Yeah, I would go for it mate, lets face it I could never live up to the great service they provide for that amount each month, in fact I would go for the whole system care, cos in this day & age, you never know..

 

[Dotty]

We're only human, its allowed. Best one i ever had was going round the rooms to bleed the radiators youngish girl probably about 23ish had black leggings on and said "oh do you want me to bleed that one?, yeah go for it" because it was behind the bed jumped up on the bed with her arse facing me, seen straight through the leggings nearly collapsed as she was mega fit! hahah

I think I'd have to go sit in the van till I stopped shaking!

 

[unguided1]

Yeah I always use me lighter to look for gas leaks (for those who dont know me I use me rottenburger with mapp gas as a *** lighter)

 

[SimonG]

I'm sorry Mrs Smith I'll be about an hour late, I'm just completing my 'we do trades' application on the web!