Annoying Sponsor Alert

[Ray Stafford]

Firstly, thanks for welcoming me into the hallowed portals of the plumbers arms! Deeply honoured, and all that guff. And it means I can discuss prices, which I don't want to do on the open forum.

I have been giving some thought to how to deal with my split personality - half of me is a forum sponsor and slightly annoying merchant, and the other half is forum junkie, (half)wit, raconteur, stats geek and pub-bore.

From your point of view, I can see that after a hard day of being p1ssed off by your merchant, you may not want to come down the pub and find another merchant trying to sell you stuff.

So here is what I have in mind.

If I start a thread selling something, I will put "Sponsor Alert" at the beginning of the thread title. If you don't want to be sold to, then just ignore any thread with that in the title.

In the course of another thread, if someone asks about a price or a product and I am answering with my business head on, then I will put a note like this at the start <sponsor alert> so you can skip my pointless blatherings. Unless I forget. Which is quite possible, depending on the state of the Jack Daniels bottle.

So a business post will look like this:

<sponsor alert>

Download our [DLMURL="http://www.williams.uk.com/pricebusters/pricebusters_autumn2012.pdf"]pricelist here [/DLMURL]and when it asks you for a password, type in "tradeonly" with no spaces, all lower case, and without the inverted commas. Please keep this password private to the Arms, because we don't want the public calling in and irritating us. You might like to see the "buy-one-get-one-half-price" offer on Fernox TF1s (page 9), the "buy-one-get-one-free" on Cassellie showers and taps on page 31, or some really silly radiator prices on page 19. The big rads are ridiculously cheap, because I more or less stole them from Vaillant UK.

If you are in the southeast, [DLMURL="http://www.williams.uk.com/branch_locator.html"]click here[/DLMURL] to find your nearest branch. If you are not in the South East, sorry, you will have to wait until we get our ecommerce set up. If you are truly desperate, or have a high value order worth putting on a pallet, please PM me and we can try to work something out.

An ordinary post will look like this:

It's Croppie's round isn't it? By the way, do you know any commercial guys?

 

[Gray0689]

Sounds good to me ray
And ps noooo don't know any commercial guys
Hold on think I remember 1

 

[Orry Clayton]

I think you need to open a yorkshire branch!!!

 

[Gray0689]

No it's gone

 

[Orry Clayton]

Looking at some of Johns pictures, he'll be changing that to:

By the way, I'm industrial!!

 

[Ray Stafford]

I think you need to open a yorkshire branch!!!

Well, its taken us 40 years to get from Pompey to Slough (or Reading - not sure which is further north?). At this rate of progress, we should just about reach Yorkshire in time for my great-grandson to sell something to yours...

We are working on the ecommerce side now. Easy thing to do, difficult thing to do right. We won't be rushing it.

 

[chris watkins]

Can we expand the <Alert System> I can think of some warnings I would like to see !!!!!! :bulb2:

 

[Dotty]

Another one? I was feeling guilty about making that video of you Ray.

Guilt's gone now.

When areyou opening a branch up in Northern Ireland?

 

[REDSAW]

nottingham youd cream it as there all ott.

 

[Ray Stafford]

Another one? I was feeling guilty about making that video of you Ray.

Guilt's gone now.

That's ok. My guilt has also gone.

When Bod PMd me to invite me into the Arms, I PMd back "only so long as I don't have to get Croppie's round in".

The I saw the "Rat" thread and felt just a teensy bit guilty.

Reckon we're level now.

When areyou opening a branch up in Northern Ireland?

Never. We have a tradition in new branch openings of giving away free beer to customers who come and open an account in the first week. You'd have accounts in 5000 different names by the end of the week, and the marketing budget won't stretch that far.

 

[Dotty]

That's ok. My guilt has also gone.

When Bod PMd me to invite me into the Arms, I PMd back "only so long as I don't have to get Croppie's round in".

The I saw the "Rat" thread and felt just a teensy bit guilty.

Reckon we're level now.



Never. We have a tradition in new branch openings of giving away free beer to customers who come and open an account in the first week. You'd have accounts in 5000 different names by the end of the week, and the marketing budget won't stretch that far.

I'm not that transparent surely!

I'll get Papa Croppie to open an account in your Croydon branch!

 

[Gray0689]

Awww ray there me thinking you was going to open a branch over here just for croppie and me ;-)

 

[Ray Stafford]

Awww ray there me thinking you was going to open a branch over here just for croppie and me ;-)

How about we open a branch, but instead of the big red and blue W over the door, we'll put up a sign that says "Salvation army temperance league".

That should keep the Croppie at bay!

 

[julesverne]

I think you need to open a yorkshire branch!!!

i second that

 

[Ray Stafford]

I think you need to open a yorkshire branch!!!

i second that

Sorry guys, next new branch will be in Eastbourne - you don't get much further from Yorkshire than that.

 

[Gray0689]

Lol I'm afraid you would not have too many customers over here lol

 

[Dotty]

How about we open a branch, but instead of the big red and blue W over the door, we'll put up a sign that says "Salvation army temperance league".

That should keep the Croppie at bay!

T tt tttt TEMPERANCE! How very dare you sir!
And in the Arms too!

 

[julesverne]

Sorry guys, next new branch will be in Eastbourne - you don't get much further from Yorkshire than that.

int eastbourne full of coffin dogers. think you should have spent your money in yorkshire. theyll all be dead before getting to the merchants

 

[Orry Clayton]

int eastbourne full of coffin dogers. think you should have spent your money in yorkshire. theyll all be dead before getting to the merchants

Couldn't agree more, and Lee and few other yorkshire lads will be along shortly to reiterate the need for a big W in yorkshire...

Would make a lovely change from going to:

Plumbase, city plumbing, plumbcentre, allaboutgas, boiler heating supplies, crossling, Plumbfix...

 

[TBServices]

Couldn't agree more, and Lee and few other yorkshire lads will be along shortly to reiterate the need for a big W in yorkshire...

Would make a lovely change from going to:

Plumbase, city plumbing, plumbcentre, allaboutgas, boiler heating supplies, crossling, Plumbfix...

I'm in agreement! I think Morley would probably be a good spot.

 

[chris watkins]

Sorry guys, next new branch will be in Eastbourne - you don't get much further from Yorkshire than that.

In more ways than one, a Ray. Going for the older cliental ?

 

[Orry Clayton]

I'm in agreement! I think Morley would probably be a good spot.

Right next to asda? ha

 

[TBServices]

Right next to asda? ha

No, next to stax/al murad would be best lol

 

[REDSAW]

good business model ray!.

there is nothing like what you do around here, all the merchants full of land lords!.

where would you be operating in the toolstation type operation ie; low stock but loads of outlets?

 

[Orry Clayton]

No, next to stax/al murad would be best lol

HAHA - yeah... you ever used copper pipe from stax?

 

[Ray Stafford]

good business model ray!.

there is nothing like what you do around here, all the merchants full of land lords!.

where would you be operating in the toolstation type operation ie; low stock but loads of outlets?

Not really low stock. Trade customers don't like to hear "we'll get one for you tomorrow". They prefer "Back the van up mate and we will get you loaded". Obviously we can't keep everything, but with interest rates on the floor, it's better to have stock than cash.

 

[TBServices]

HAHA - yeah... you ever used copper pipe from stax?

No, never buy any plumbing stuff from there tbf, other than a few wastes/rad valves now and then.

 

[Orry Clayton]

Good and don't, flexi's are less flexible than the copper pipe from there! Poor stuff!

 

[stevetheplumber]

Last company that came up from the south and died a death was jayhards bit further down than you exeter way swallowed whole by city plumbing

 

[Ray Stafford]

Last company that came up from the south and died a death was jayhards bit further down than you exeter way swallowed whole by city plumbing

Yep - Jayhards were originally a Southampton firm, and back in the 80s and 90s were in a permanent war with City Plumbing who were also independent back then - HQ was in Salisbury. They absolutely hated each other. Both got bought by Travis Perkins, but City was bought first, and it was the City Plumbing name that stuck. Several other indies also got taken over at the same time or just a bit later.