Discuss a monday pick me up contains adult humour in the Plumbing Jobs | The Job-board area at PlumbersForums.net

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Barry98

Woke up this morning and decided to cycle to work,
but when i went out it was slinging it down.
So i thought i'd go back to bed for 20 minutes.
When i got back in bed i decided to give the missus one from behind.
I said "its slinging it down out there" and she replied
" i know and that stupid sod is cycling to work"
 
who let the dogs out???


she did!

dogs out.jpg
 

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?" His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the sXXt inside!"
 
>>>>Ed Milliband was visiting
a London primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion
related to words and their meanings.
>>>>The teacher asked Mr Milliband
if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.
>>>>
>>>>So
the illustrious leader of the Labour Party asked the class for an
example of a 'Tragedy'
>>>>
>>>>A little boy stood up and oed: 'If my best
friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs
over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.'
>>>>'Incorrect,' said
Milliband. 'That would be an accident.'
>>>>A little girl raised her
hand: 'If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff,
killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy.'
>>>>'I'm afraid not',
explained Milliband, 'that's what we would refer to as a great
loss'.
>>>>The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Milliband
searched the room.
>>>>
>>>>'Isn't there someone here who can give me an
example of a tragedy?'
>>>>Finally, at the back of the room, little
Johnny raised his hand and said:
>>>>’If a plane carrying you and Mr
Balls and Mrs Harmen and all the other LAB members was struck by a
'friendly fire' missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a
tragedy.'
>>>>'Fantastic' exclaimed Milliband, 'and can you tell me why
that would be a tragedy?'
>>>>
>>>>'Well', said Johnny, 'it has to be a
tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably
wouldn't be a f*cking accident either!'
 
>>>>Ed Milliband was visiting
a London primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion
related to words and their meanings.
>>>>The teacher asked Mr Milliband
if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.
>>>>
>>>>So
the illustrious leader of the Labour Party asked the class for an
example of a 'Tragedy'
>>>>
>>>>A little boy stood up and oed: 'If my best
friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs
over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.'
>>>>'Incorrect,' said
Milliband. 'That would be an accident.'
>>>>A little girl raised her
hand: 'If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff,
killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy.'
>>>>'I'm afraid not',
explained Milliband, 'that's what we would refer to as a great
loss'.
>>>>The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Milliband
searched the room.
>>>>
>>>>'Isn't there someone here who can give me an
example of a tragedy?'
>>>>Finally, at the back of the room, little
Johnny raised his hand and said:
>>>>’If a plane carrying you and Mr
Balls and Mrs Harmen and all the other LAB members was struck by a
'friendly fire' missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a
tragedy.'
>>>>'Fantastic' exclaimed Milliband, 'and can you tell me why
that would be a tragedy?'
>>>>
>>>>'Well', said Johnny, 'it has to be a
tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably
wouldn't be a f*cking accident either!'

So the rout isn't just a Scots thing :smile:
 
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