a monday pick me up contains adult humour

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a monday pick me up contains adult humour

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Barry98

Woke up this morning and decided to cycle to work,
but when i went out it was slinging it down.
So i thought i'd go back to bed for 20 minutes.
When i got back in bed i decided to give the missus one from behind.
I said "its slinging it down out there" and she replied
" i know and that stupid sod is cycling to work"
 
I was blessed with a giant *****.

Looking back, I think the priest took advantage of me.
 
11980_551639044876393_611180208_n.jpg


sweet jeebus tesco, is there nothing you won't put into the food chain.....
 
villa_tom said:
This is your comment for today that makes me hate you a tiny piece more.
Click to expand...
if you had not said it was a picture you could have had the joke going a lot longer,my comment links broke was designed to see how many else would say the same,the school you went to in brum should have taught you not to shout out in class
 
In honour of Sir Alex Ferguson's retirement, all Premiership matches will play an extra 2 minutes injury time this weekend.
 
Thatcher dies and now ferguson retires. Somewhere there's a scouser with a lamp and 1 wish left!
 
Villa Tom has been offered a job by the government's Department of New Words.

It's a fantastic opporchancity.
 
I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers.

Or maybe it was "a tent of lovers." I wasn't really listening.
 
My mate's wife rang me at home today.

She said, "Have you seen my husband?"

I said, "No, not since yesterday."

"I knew he was lying!" she screamed, "He told me that he's been at your house all night!"

"Erm... he... has," I replied.

She said, "You're just sticking up for him now! You just said that you hadn't seen him since this yesterday."

"Er... I haven't," I replied. "We've been playing hide and seek."
 
Walking through the park today I saw a hot young girl in a short dress sat reading a magazine. I thought if I'm lucky I might be able to get a glimpse up her skirt as I pass.

Didn't turn out well though, I ended up putting my ear in some dog poo.
 
I didn't feel I could say much when I caught my son masturbating.

To be fair, neither of us should've been in his sister's wardrobe.
 
Wife ..I 'm taking Billy to the doc's this morning as I'm concerned his willy is not as big as it should be
Husband you worry too much see you later I'm off to work
Doc examines boy and tell his Mum don't worry feed him plenty of hot buttered toast 3 time's a day for two week's and you will soon see a change
so the boy come's home from school that day to be met with a tower of toast on the table.....cor is that all mine Mum
no Billy just the two slice's on the top ....the rest is for your father.......regards turnpin
 
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